dude she licked ball and has every Are you afraid of the dark episode on dvd
lock that shit down
Yeah the sex got weird after I said "who's your daddy?" and she actually moaned her dads name.
I can't wait to get all this Makers out of my shoe.
My bra broke.... so I Macguyvered that shit together with floss
You screamed at all of us and then showed us your sack. You're like the boyfriend of my dreams.
Remind me tomorrow that I was taking shots of burnetts in the subway line while placing my order
Just did it in a room with glowing stars to Peter Gabriel's down to earth on shrooms. This is like god
I love birth control. How's that for a Facebook status on valentines day.
Found the cure to anxiety attacks.
An orgasm
I wish my nipples were as well behaved as yours.
I just found a bag of chex mix in my clutch
You were feeding it to the bartender last night
We're starting to light shit on fire, bring a metal bucket. Be prepared, Jimmy's off his meds.
you know you need to get laid when: getting wrestled to the ground in a self-defense class turns you on....p.s. this is a booty call
outside on the street drinkin, walked into a random house and asked to pee, some kid hands me a beer and says i have to chug it first
what are you up to?
it's 8pm, i've already showered and gotten in bed. if you wanted to make plans u should have asked 3 months in advance
Randomize
