i jhust puked up my retainher.
It's 3am, i just got back from ht e bars and registered for classes larteeeeee. History of baseball at 8am? at least ill meet the only stragiht gusy at NYU!
Heads up. We filled your kiddie pool with kool-aid and vodka. Things are about to get Out. Of. Hand. Quickly.
She's grinding on a deaf black man and I'm the interpreter.
In a car. Threw up in my mouth. Haven't said a word in 10 minutes.
thanks for celebrating my birthday so severely 2 years ago. i just found your hospital discharge papers in my closet.
anything for my little brother.
She was our DD the least I could do is have sex with her. Even when drunk I'm still chivalrous.
so, does the "dick the size of your forearm" thing run in the family then?
Normal vaginal pH: 3.8 to 4.5. Of course it tastes like a 9-volt. I could run a potato clock on that thing.
Yea. I couldn't get a job in fast food but I can teach Americas youth. The future looks great
My vagina is trying to run away to Boston without me.
I don't think the best pickup line was. Hey I have never made a girl orgasm before but I'm sure it will work on someone like you.
Make way for the handjob queen! She will grab what she wants, when she wants, and from whomever she wants.
I told you when I started the only reason I was gonna coach your kids soccer team was that I could meet all the hot soccer moms. So why are you so mad I slept with your ex?
I AM GONNA CUM EVERYWHERE TONIGHT BRO.
Randomize
