I need to just get drunk and eat a pot pie.
Why do you have Season One of Reba in your underwear drawer?
Why are you in my underwear drawer?
I convinced her last night that my actual nickname was "No Condom John"
Ed hardy stationary at walmart. I'm betting snookie wishes she knew how to write
If youre the one that ate my brownies this morning I only have two things to say to you
Those had pot in them
And good luck on your interview asshole
Buying Plan B right after a lecture on feminism. It's nice to know who I can thank for that right.
It was perfect I came I passed out in his comfortable bed then a glass of jack Daniels fell from the bed post and spilled all over my face
I stole another quarter from the bathroom. I'm slowly getting rich drinking here.
some guy i've known for a week sent me nudes saying "you're welcome" i need an award for this birthday
BRING ME THE PLAN B. ILL GIVE YOU A FREE WATER BOTTLE AND A BUMPER STICKER AND SOME BACON BITS
Was in the middle of a keg stand, the frat guys dropped me, and I broke my nose. My mom didn't enjoy that call from the hospital.
And tan into my neighbor in the elevator. She was going to the gym. I was covered in mascara and dog hair eating a hash brown
I just spent the better half of my Friday night alone, naked eating McDonalds. Not my worst start of a new year
FYI the blow job was for papa johns pizza
I regret 8000% nothing
So, I actually said the words "but face tattoos are sexy"
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