there is a homeless man oan crack poledancing on a fence... now hes humping it...
Went home with a guy 2 " his house". Woke up this morn on couch to parents cooking breakfast, piss all over my back and he is no where to be found. That fuckr pissed on me and bounced. His parents are gonna think some drunk bitch pissed their couch.
Just washed my feet between classes in the bathroom...Four girls totally judged me...
just overheard a conversation that ended in "and that's what I learned in France" How could that not have been about sex
Thought I woke up to a girl giving me a handy. It was a male nurse inserting a catheter.
does it still count as break up sex if it's 4 months later? sorry i'm just looking for an excuse to fuck him.
Stop leaving me alone with my ex boyfriends after keg challenges. Woke up in his bed covered in what you think would be cum. No...toothpaste. He left a note. "Be home at four. Don't be here when I get back."
You'd be surprised how many calories hedonism burns.
i dont know how he's 22 and thinks emoticons will get him laid. lady boner just died.
When asked if they had been introduced, Damo said "No but I know we've pretty much fucked all the same girls in town"
maybe one of us should just pity fuck him and get it over with.
I gave him head during Pitch Perfect 2, I felt like the Bella's were cheering me on with their back up tunes
using my tits for other peoples nudes hit me up business in the making
right now I am washing the alcohol and shame off from last night
DO NOT PREHEAT THE OVEN THIS MORNING! WE STARTED USING IT AS A WINE STASH AROUND MIDNIGHT.
Randomize
