your youtube search consisted of "food slideshow" and "the angry beavers"
once the tequila comes in everyone elses feelings go out the window.
i've decided that sluts are like cars. they may look good as hell on the outside, but you never know what kind of shit is hiding under the hood.
Vodka is such a love hate relationship.
Truer words have never been spoken.
We just filmed our own version of iron chef. The secret ingreient was whisky.
What did you cook with whisky?
We started a fire.
What I love about college? The kid tripping balls has a kayak made readily available to him on any given Wednesday, Saturday, or Sunday.
You just kept shouting "I AM AN ADULT!" until he agreed to carry you home on his shoulders.
Mike found the condom wrapper on the washing machine and looked at me and said "Magnum? NICE girl. Get that nut!" then proceeded to puke in a cup
Is cereal technically a soup?
Fuck, I'm high.
Within the hour, he sent me 8 texts and 4 voice memos. One of the memos was just him whistling for 3 minutes. ...It's official, I attract the crazies.
Someone sharpied "COCK HUNGRY" on my butt cheeks last night. When the fuck did I have my ass out?
When I'm drunk I really like to hold dicks. Like, affectionately.
As much as I trust your struggle imma deal with being Eskimo brothers with my own sister before I get to that
If y'all wanna know how far the apple fell from the tree I'm sexting during Easter service. Mom would be so proud 😳
Why are there naked heterosexuals in my apartment?
Randomize
