I was totally willing to let her keep giving me blowjobs as long as she didn't think we were in a relationship.
so when we were booking the hotel and plane tickets for vegas we reserved a chapel for someone, it's inevitable.
I don't know if it's the amount i drank last night or the number of taylor swift statuses on facebook but i feel like puking everywhere
I'm lying on the floor in the back room praying my boss doesn't come to work today.never again
Well you wanna do it now or later? I've had three shots and I'm listening to journey by myself. Emotionally there is no better prime time than right now.
The cops showed up and one of them got pushed in the pool. When he got out he looked really sad so I got him a towel and hugged him. He arrested all the underage drunkards but me.
Well the streets were closed, so it was okay for me to just lay down for a little bit.
Oh my god. That was the best half-hour of my life that didn't involve genitals.
He fingered me in a Waffle House bathroom and then stole a traffic cone. Is this love that I'm feeling?
I wasn't going to just ask my parents for a damn vibrator for christmas
I told her to to let go of her rationtal thoughts and just enjoy the fact that i was going down on her till she passed out from sheer orgasmic pleasure.
It's finals week and I'm halfway done with this bag of wine and don't plan on stopping. Say goodbye to my GPA
On your day off do you wanna get wine drunk and take a few episodes of Jerry Springer way too seriously with me?
...I just melted into my bed. I am one with the bed. I am 600 thread count.
I was high as fuck laying down in the back seat while she gave him head. Most awkward chill moment of my life.
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