Im starting to realize why people dont masturbate while driving
What about the words "You're my personal dildo" made him say "I love you"?
He just said "I made some changes in my life. The male g-spot is in the rectum and I wanted to explore that."
I wonder if u can grow weed on Framville and sell it to Mafia Wars?
Whats a good hint for stop bitching im gonna give you head
I want to frame my negative pregnancy test.
Haha...we lost by one cup to a guy w shitty facial hair. What makes me most mad abt the loss is that I could grow a better beard on my vag.
Carpeing THE FUCK out of that diem
I thi k this dude I fcken showed up to the bar in a raisins shirts. I thought I was better than that. Fuckkkk.
Fried chicken is a must. Do strippers eat fried chicken or should I plan on something else?
Halloween is the only night where I would ever end up getting a guy's makeup all over my face
I found an industrial strength sharpie in the drawer so I started writing BONER JAM 2014 on everyone's foreheads so they kicked me out
If I got paid for every bad decision I've made I would be one rich bitch by now
Masturbating to the DNC live stream. Not my proudest moment
I went to the nurse and she literally told me I was too sexually active and wrote me a prescription for 7 days of pelvic rest...... Hahahhahaha
Randomize
