when does round two start
I don't know, I gave up bartenders for lent
Remember that time i walked in on your friend taking a huge shit?
Remember that time you hooked up with him?
so i definitely just saw 2 cops high five each other as they were arresting underage drinkers in 5 points.
Some girl just asked us for directions back to campus. we told her to take the first four lefts. We live on a block. she believed us
Just got to costco. Where are you?
Liquor aisle, bring another cart.
She was the most uninteresting drunk I've met
NExt question... Do i wanna sleep under my palm tree
YES.
there is a strobe light in my taxi. in what way is this safe.
You walked in on me taking a shit and told me to hit the bong
There are only families here. I'm at the bar alone double fisting drinks. You cannot get any more approachable than I am now.
It's time for everyone's favorite Wednesday night game... WHEEL OF. VODKA!!!!!
A big thanks to that bride-to-be, Her fiance and his loaded friends will forever hold a place in my heart for the generous tequila body shots on the couch at Henry's.
I just had drunken sex with an eagle scout behind the boy scouts of america building. what has my life come to?!
Yeah but the jokes on her right? We just got a new couch and hers still has a cum stain on it from like six months ago
I promise your sink was clogged before I threw up in it.
Randomize
