I swear she didn't look like that last week.
And I wrote a rap so it was actually a productive afternoon minus not paying our bills.
there needs to be a "man fax report". like car fax. type in the guys name and bday and up pops all the bad shit he's ever done.
And then he came out of the bathroom in a kimono
i told him i should keep a toothbrush at his house for after all the times i threw up there. he said yes but i wasnt getting a key to the apt
Hey we need to step our game up. Dad has us beat; he stole a vending machine once.
I was standing when I hit it. I barely made it to the couch before the walls started turning into people.
I got my project done and a booty call in all before 1am. I'm a professional college kid.
Btw. Being a stripper for a week without anyone knowing to pay off my school loan is no longer in my agenda.
BTW he text me to text him later after the concert to hang out. Im prepping my bed but I should know I shouldn't count my dicks before they hatch
well one of us has to be wrong and it's not going to be me
I just fell off a roof. So I'm kinda chillin for a minute.
For dinner, I'm having saltines, canned whipped cream, and beer. Are we sure I'm responsible enough for home ownership?
When did we go from stumbling drunk into an ER at 3am to dinner double dating?
How does it feel to date your dad?
Randomize
