I can hear the grilled cheese talking to me. "Let me in there!" they wanna get inside me
I don't know if it was the room or her, but as soon as the pants came off, it smelt like a locker room and old man farts.
I'm just trying to think of how much money Little Debbie would make if pot was legalized.
at what point did putting a bag of doritos in the freezer seem like a really good idea?
Bachelor party turned 19 hour search and rescue in the mountains. nbd
I forgot that I thought it would be a good idea to hairspray my toilet seat last night after I took 12 shots of vodka so when I just went to pee, I stuck to the toilet. Never drinking again.
Ecstasy body chair massage shower sex fest this week?
Sometimes while peeing I'll go hands free, put my arms up by my chest and make claw hands, and pretend I'm a new type of dinosaur called Dickosaurus Rex.
Idk how much more i could have responded my dick was basically trying to unzip the zipper and hop out
With a breakfast like weed and a fun size twix before a dentist appointment you can see exactly how I handle being an adult
Sockward: that moment during sexytimes when you realize your socks are still on and you have no idea how to remove them in a non-awkward fashion.
My exam ends at 4pm so I plan to be passed out in the bar by 5pm. Want to join me?
I will have to bone him sometime between now and July so he will move all my shit again
I'll give you one guess. It has a cock and I want it
Dude someone puked in a bowl n put it in the fridge. I thought it was salsa! Who does that?
Randomize
