I dont get chicks, its like they only care about themselves and money
sounds like you understand them just fine
Id settle for living inside the pirates of the carribean ride.
EVERY baby cries during their baptism. It's like they know from that moment on their parents are going to make them do lame things like their first communion and stuff.
one more question, do you know why i woke up with 5 pounds of quarters, nickels and dimes in my pocket?
So can you tell me who's underwear is on the cat?
Matt is in the hospital again. the night nurse text me asking not to bring the boombox again. is it sad or awesome that they are starting to know us?
ya, but you'll graduate college with a higher education. I'm looking at at least two addictions, an abortion, and a few weeks jail time.
in case you were wondering, even a BJ under a blanket on the back of a bus only lifts a 14-hour bus ride to borderline tolerable.
I don't really want to have sex with him, I'd just want him in a threesome. Does that make sense?
Just had my very first high conversation with mom
And you survived it! I'd say that earns you a "Blaze It Like a Real Adult" from the Grown-up Girl Scouts
You drunk-dialed me and asked me to describe my burrito
So you're not opposed to us ever having sex again? Because it just seems like such a waste to let a penis like yours go.
For the love of god, if any of you are up, bring me pants.
It’s easy for me to be professional, the tough part is finding the perfect amount of bitchy undertone
I collect Covid conspiracy theories like I collect Pokemon.
Randomize