i totally forgot about the coupon that said i would show him how i pleasure myself.
so basically i'm the" little sister", he's the "big brother" and we just fucked
The look your mother gives you when she sees you masterbating on web cam is unlike any I've seen before, but this is a case where, I would say, ignorance is bliss.
A 14 year old with a teardrop tattoo just tried to sell me weed. I'm in the wrong fucking neighborhood.
even if everyone didnt know them screaming eskimo brothers and high fiveing over my head kinda gave it away
Pretty much gone. He was in the backseat and kept whispering that his "toes felt like pigtails"
I HAVE stop dating guys for their prescriptions, you have no idea how awkward family dinner was. Thank god for his xanax.
Im down. Even tho your nick name intimidates my vagina.
Well. It was around 3 or 4 in the morning. He ran into the woods. Wearing moccasins. Holding an extension cord. He was trying to catch a deer. That about sums up the awesomeness of the night.
The party got busted because you two got caught having sex on the neighbors trampoline, come on man.
Watch the news tonight. They interviewed me about a fire. I was high as balls so it should be entertaining.
New rule for Thursdays: no high gymnastics
I just bought a 1/4 oz of pot from a coworker who's old enough to be my grandfather...I'm never leaving Portland.
Yes dating, but it seems easier to just live in a perpetual state of Netflix, internet porn, and cheese.
Why are you drunk at the library?
Why not?
Randomize
