I'm single ladies-ing it in my kitchen alone. after I just made an intense new breakup cd and before I drown my sorrows by marinating alone in my jacuzzi later. I cant tell if this is a new low or a new high
i just went through and liked all 1,239 of her pictures instead of writing my english paper. don't tell her, i want her to be surprised
My history teacher just took his shirt off cuz the classroom was to hot. And then he invited us all to join him.
I guess I tried to show you how big my closet was and we ended up eating pickles in my bathroom
as I was walking out the door her and her roommate started singing "toot it and boot it".. I'm in love
My boyfriend correctly calculated the time I would be out of alcohol and showed up about four minutes after I'd run out with two bottles of wine. I think this is love.
He ran around the party with a broken foot/ankle with a gallon of Malibu yelling "it must rain coconut"
I really resent how she stayed home and ruined my plans to watch sci-fi and masturbate.
What wine did you feed Jack? Might not want to waste the good stuff on kitties. Kitties only get box wine.
I wish him all the best and hope one day he can afford the surgery to remove his head from his ass
Also, I guess I made friends with the guy who caught me peeing behind a bush.
On my way, five mins. Is the line long? Do you think they will they hold a pumpkin at coat check?
i have to vacuum my washing machine now, asshole
I can't have my last hookup before 21 have been behind a dumpster
Tip of the day: Don't Amazon vibrators when your WHOLE FAMILY uses your prime account. There's dildo after dildo showing up in my "Related to Items You've Viewed" category on the home page.
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