Mac n' cheese is coming out of my nose. You can't make that feel better
I would say a second date is not looking likely, I acciedentally bit his penis. it's still bleeding 43 minutes later.
Im still in bed and cant move and i only had Two beers and a shot last night... how did I make it in college?
God gave us a 4 year grace period.
She kept biting his ear when he was talking to people, that was only 3 drinks in...
Warning: at some point today you will probably see several pics of me 69-ing a blow up turtle show up on facebook. Just disregard them.
Seriously, dude... You knows its bad when you gag on her nipple.
WHO THE FUCK TAGS THEMSELVES AT COUNTY JAIL?!?!
Its raining shots and i keep catching them in my mouth like you with dicks shits crazy
Random Survey Question: If things start getting serious with this cop, do I have to stop doing coke?
I feel like I deserve an award for facing my fear of penises in my face.
So... Really random... You know we only exist cause Dad misspelled 'perseverance', right?
I don't know his last name, but he's in phone as Pat the conqueror.
Not too bad but came home early cuz business was shut down due to an employee sexually harrassing the inspector
Took his shirt off. Announced he was Jesus. Threw up. Asked me to cuddle him to sleep. And then tried to kiss me. Typical Saturday night.
Hey, Would it be ok if me and your wife have a ladies only night and masturbated on FaceTime together?
Randomize
