yeah for some reason your penis didn't fit in my mouth the other day
you should probably quit with the whole "no homo" thing, especially when you are drunk, "mo homo"gives the wrong impression.
Either he masturbated at the end of the bed or she gave him a bj. Either way my bed was shaking and I was uninvolved.
RJ thinks I should put one of the muffins in my vagina. Good idea or bad idea?
I'm sorry about your car but on a brighter note I did wake up in my dorm. That's something right?
Fuck you.
So many bounce houses so little time
My goal is to upperdeck the house I'm at, because it's some girl I don't know's birthday. Welcome to adulthood, bitch.
Drunk at ten am watching Californication re runs. Being divorced rules.
Happy cinco de mayo!! Puke filled sombrero in the lawn needs to be picked up and whos never punched my fence boards in half needs to replace those by the way the owner of those panties (see attached photo) anytime you wanna cum over;-) hiii!
Okay. This morning the comforter was wet, you were underwearless and using a tiny blanket. What'd you do??
I DID MY EXPERIMENTING. FOUR YEARS OF IT. IN HIGH SCHOOL.
You threw up on his face 22 hours ago and now he's here holding your hand. I think he likes you.
What happened to no more shots?
It went out the window just like my dreams
Dude, they hit that lizard part of my brain that tells me to fuck people.
Preach sister.
he told me he wanted me to go see his cat. apparently i was more interested in playing with his cat then having sex.
Randomize
