You're the unicorn of the gay community. Unbelievable and unattainable.
apparently went to arby's at 2:30am banging on the windows for someone to make me a "beefy"
Just got mistaken for a cardboard cutout ad in line at Taco Bell. New low?
And secondly i just said i'd pay ten dollars to have sex with you
Oh well. haha. i couldn't really understand what she was saying. i just nodded a lot. i guesss she found that sexy.
gotta love spring break
gotta love slutty girls from the south
There's a stoned dwarf chilling in the basement here. Maybe there are redeemable qualities about this place.
you were feeling the wall and when we asked you why, you just said "because I want to know who lived here before"
I'm the kind of girl who misses her mouth when trying to eat, do you honestly think I'm coordinated enough to wear heels during sex?
He called me at 4 a.m. and wanted me to drive him to McDonald's then drop him off at home. It wasn't even a booty call, it was a fucking chauffeur call.
This is gonna be the kind of weekend where if it involves putting on pants, it ain't happening.
I checked her ID this morning. Lets just say...she's older than my mom
Nothing to be ashamed of. I bet Oprah has sharted.
Foreplay went from me being a bank teller and him a customer to us actually having to go to the bank so we would make rent
I fell out of my bed whilst trying not to move this morning. I AM ADULT
I had ice cream for breakfast two days in a row.
SUPER ADULTS
Cockblock successful. That's for pouring nacho cheese on my flatscreen, asshole.
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