It smells like wine and fried chicken. Im confused and intrigued.
but the good news is i woke up with 15 dollars in my pocket so i probably sold my phone instead of puking on it
we're ranked number 5 for having the most pot in the country for a university school. idk if i should feel worried or just plain blessed.
Have you ever seen a porn where they were playing bluegrass in the background?
I just remember making out with this kid's friend, washing blood off my hands and hearing the RA's were looking for me.
Idk what else to talk about besides you paying for half of my vaginaplasty.
come find me. Outside the bar we were just in waving my syringe in the air
My public calorie counter app is pretty much just a cry for help.
Winner winner, chicken dinner. I am the sole survivor of the orgy without strep. Or maybe I was the carrier?
SO HELP ME GOD THERE IS A SPIDER IN THIS PIZZA. IT IS VERY SMALL IT IS INSIDE THE CRUST AND IT IS ALIVE. I'M SO HUNGRY DO I KEEP EATING
Best ethics paper a stoner could write. I called my professor Dr. Superfly Arandia. And I'm pretty sure I used "respect the hustle" somewhere in there too.
Do you think I can get away with quoting Work Bitch by Britney Spears in my speech?
He was awesome with her today. I can't say that it didn't make my Fallopian tubes sing "The Hills Are Alive."
I’m sorry, some of us common-folk don’t have access to steady dick
I'm fucked-out. That state of being high between fucked up and passed out.
Randomize
