ID DO HER
SHE HAS LUMPS OF DEODORANT IN HER ARMPIT, I THINK ONE FELL IN YOUR DRINK
she acted like she'd never seen someone do speed off of a desk with a rolled up receipt. and she calls herself a grad student.
But you've got to admit , for how blackout I was I look fucking unreal in those pictures
She pushed me over. She offered me a shot from her tits. We're good now
they knew we were both to shy to do anything so they got us drunk and locked us in the back yard with a tent. it was fuck or freeze
you have the best friends
25 likes of a picture on Instagram of my butthole. beat that.
Are we on the same shift tomorrow and more importantly do you want your pants back?
and everyone will high five me and girls will approach me offering blowjobs
I fully committed to my astronaut costume, to say the least. blacking out on moonshine and having a moonwalk of shame this morning: happy Halloweekend.
Always a gay best friend, never a bridesmaid
I feel like dick that good should always be within a five kilometre radius of me.
Since when do my one night stands start sending you friend requests?
you were on a whole other level. you went home with him because he said "you got some light ass eyes"
Must be why he thought choking was foreplay. Like WTF? No.
And thank god for autocorrect cuz I can't even think in English let alone spell in it right now.
Randomize
