The things that come out of my body both amaze and disturb me.
I woke up on a futon with 2 stolen budwiesers in my purse, 5 extra bucks, a sucker stuck to my shoe, one sock, and a stolen copy of the zombie survival guide
please tell me this is not legit
you kept say ridiculous things then repeating them in perfect classical latin. You are onee intelligent drunk
I woke up to him drunk-t-bagging me, saying "huevos rancheros" were being served for breakfast.
he said i balance and complete him. i feel sick
how many thumbs am i supposed to have at one time
you found the shrooms didnt you
Maybe. This hangover is made of nightmares and that thing from the Alien movies.
Important update! My next door neighbours have a canoe. Repeat: THEY HAVE A CANOE! We are having sex in it before this summer is over.
I hooked up with a guy dressed as Wesley from the Princess Bride. I kept telling him what I wanted him to do and all he would say was "as you wish"
For the sake of my mom, I can't sleep with two guys with the same name. She has a hard enough time keeping up as it is
You got Broadway Drunk, dude. I haven't heard you sing "Music Of The Night" like that since the last time I was holding you up on the way to the subway at two in the morning.
It's days like today that make me happy I'm not a porn star.
lets face it, we have a liquor cabinet with a designated chocolate shelf
I woke up in a limo in long Island, Ny this morning. Talk about a black out
I wish i didn't black out tuesday so i could have cherished our moment together
Throwing up together is NOT a cherishable moment...
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