You really coming over, don't trick.
On my way home i need to take a massive dump and couldn't wait.
Any of you guys fuck a 16 year old again? Because our front yard got fucked over high school style.
I dont understand how a fully grown man could convince himself that lime green crocks would look good on him.
I just remember telling jokes while vomitting
its totally unfair that im just as ill-prepared as a 16 year old but there's no tv show for 25 and pregnant.
yesterday, he said he didn't trust me around his daughter because "if she was wrapped in rolling paper u'd smoke her." yup.
I just paid a homeless man $20 for the dragon ball Z shirt he was wearing. I need to stop drinking
That penis you're staring at is the penis of heartbreak. Stay away. It will break your heart AND keep you away from other penises. BACK. OFF. THE PENIS.
She seriously pointed at the couch and asked me if she could "ride the talking giraffe". I'll never serve everclear again.
They're showing aladdin at the bar my birthday is complete
Now that it's fall I have to prepare for the imminent arrival of ripped up sweatpants shoved into folded over sequined uggs
We were sad, then we got horny, and then we needed some ranch
He's completely obsessed with his ex but gives phenomenal head. So overall, yeah, good first date.
Uber southern baptist grandma and uber flaming cousin just got into an argument about whether jesus is OK with gay marriage. Aren't these things only supposed to happen at Thanksgiving?
Randomize
