Just bonged a beer from a vuvuzela...this place is only doing good for me
you are not perverted enough for this relationship to work out.
The sex I just had was not worth missing a girls night out.
It's like leaving me for his wife wasn't enough. He had to give me an STD too.
Sorry I can't go bowling with you guys. I'm getting daytime dick. That's the best kind.
I think I just got propositioned for sex by the lady behind the counter at dunkin donuts
Just got road head. In broad daylight. On the interstate. During rush hour. Pushing the envelope one public bj at a time.
He tried to introduce me to one of his friends that kept looking at me and I said "OH NO! I can't do this shit anymore!!" It was like I had a vision of what drunk me would've done in about 20 minutes.
I just want to eat Taco Bell and throw it up on his doorstep.
I'm never going out with the ashleys again. it was whoreible. terrifyingly whoreible.
pesky things like morals, self-preservation and cowardice are not needed. overkill is nothing but a word. there will be blood.
He's gonna be like you slept with too many of my friends and you're being voted off the island haha
I can't find my keys and there's a hotdog in my purse.
Remember that gum I swallowed 3 days ago? I just threw it up.... whole.
This pandemic, it’s making everyone horny. I’ve got dick stashed all over town
Randomize
