We're facebook friends in real life
bro...we were banging on her floor and her dog walked in and started licking my balls
sitting in room practicing taking shots. has my life come to this?
Dude you spent the last hour of the night in the bathroom crying, asking someone why you will never be as smart as Mr.Feeney from boy meets world.
I Never golf you the sypdu of andrew. The one o will marry. The one j plwgded my last breath up. The one I pledged everything I live forbworh to. I love him more than life itself
boobs and vodka. thats all i can remember, finals week needs to stop ending like this..
Okay well someone asked "IS HE HOMELESS?" about me so I need to try and find somebody.
I'm so hungover. I just keep eating the otter pops I'm trying to use to get rid of my hickies.
I think I may have just taught my whole hall how to give a good blow job. So this is college.
Well.. If you trust a test that only costs a dollar, I'm not pregnant
He used the term 'cock-staggering' in an email. So needless to say things are going pretty well.
I knew I wanted to marry her when we got in that bar fight and she full-nelsoned a guy while I worked his kidneys. I knew then we had to breed
Thanks for the reference. If your boss hires me, I'll buy you a drink.
If my boss hires you, I'm going to need it.
It's been three years since Kelly shit in the to go box that we put in Sam's mailbox after we broke up. Considering Sam and I are friends again, should I finally tell him?
I think my dick has healed enough that we can start having sex again
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