I miss you. Just wanted to say that before the drugs kicked in so it's legit.
I googled "I hate my uterus" just to make sure I wasn't the only one.
out of nowhere you said let us see your boobs, then proceeded to pull my shirt down.
i gets down
I am so getting Plan B when we get home. Not getting knocked up by a dude with a hair piece.
just woke up COVERED in glow sticks and glitter. didn't even have to turn the light on to puke.
Um...any recollection of peeing in the pantry
Just had to hide the fact that I'm not wearing underwear from my 7 year old niece.
Never backflip into an above ground pool. I think the gash will be smaller by Monday though.
What made this night legendary was getting pulled over for looking suspicious while wearing an iron man mask
Oh my god he's laying on a longboard singing the song from cool runnings.
We're taking a shot every time Landon Donovan takes a shot. It's clever, sort of.
PLEASE HELP ME THE AMERICANS ARE YELLING ABOUT TURKEY, I DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO
Sexting and pancakes... It's going to be hard to top that
So the same great-aunt that told me to freeze my eggs for procreation just told me that I should strut around the dance floor b/c I'd get picked up.
I need to meet your family.
Let's do something tonight. I feel like setting things on fire.
Randomize
