I'm wearing a childsize birthday hat and a bib. I am the def of sex appeal rite now
I am not speculating about which disney princesses do and do not have gag reflexes
im glad we only fight about serious things like the hills and disney scene it
I got a black eye last night. This guy said for every 35 pounds you lose you gain an inch to your dick. I asked him how long he has been peeing sitting down.
it was all downhill after the free blackjack taco
Seriously how many times do I have to sleep with him before he stops calling me dude
It isn't possible and the very mindfuck of that concept gives me a lady boner.
Part of me really wants this picture, but the other part of me knows if he is really this drunk, he could be sodomizing a lamp and not know it
Got my parents to pick me up from the party, take me to the bar and buy all my drinks, then drop me off at my booty calls house.
And now you know why we call him Three-Balls Brad
i tried giving myself a bikini wax.1. i hate you 2. i think i'm dying
he told me his feelings for me AFTER sex, so that means he meant it right?
you ripped my door off of the hinges, kicked it in half and then proceeded to throw it down the stairs because i wouldn't make you a cheese burger
Just slather his penis with BBQ sauce
He made me promise not to describe his penis in detail to you....oops.
Randomize
