I swear, you have an app for that. "Attention: your boyfriend is pooping. Place call?"
He took naked pictures of me and told me if I ever got to the Disney Channel level of fame he would help me out. I think i'm in love
At my internship. I get drug tested tmr at 2
Are they going to pay you for the one day you worked?
Exactly. wat kind of friend would i be if i even pretended to give a shit about ur problems
Someone just asked me if ur the girl that fell through the floor. I HAD to say yes.
I need to think of the best way to tell this boy he's not getting his pants back
cocks speak louder than words, as they say
Nobody says that.
I'm thinking about slathering myself with peanut butter and going to the dog park. What's the worst that could happen?
And. I know i am a gay man cause when i saw the pic of his cock his feet were in it and i am like what the fuck?
Or maybe I'll just keep introducing myself like, hello, they call me iane because I need the D. Applications are submitted online, women need not apply.
Go makeout with Mickey Mouse so we can get FastPass tickets
I'm never going to adult. I'm staying a child. The only thing related to adult that I want to do is you.
Our office went out together for the first time to celebrate the fact our coworker got fired.
I was so drunk at your wedding that Uber is now showing up in my Spotify recent searches.
This weekend I turned down sex to watch the Star Wars marathon... Is this growing up?
Randomize
