Phosphoglyceraldehydration... why the fuck is this a word
nah, shes just mad because we went through all her fb pics and tagged her crotch as all the guys shes fucked
You taught me that having a dip while u shit is awesome. I appreciate u for that
It was good sex. She was screaming so much I didn't know whether or not my name was Matt or God.
i'm ready for this baby to gtfo so i can get coked out.
I wish that one Sunday morning I could wake up feeling like I have my life together.
I think the main reason you were throwing up so much was the quart of soap you chugged trying to burp bubbles. you came close
So my OCD kicked in and I cleaned his kitchen. His roommates were so grateful, they tried to pay me in weed.
YOU ACCEPTED, RIGHT?
My vagina bone hurts from grinding on that dude so hard.
I hopped in a random dudes car outside the strip club at 3pm on a Sunday and said "Follow that car!"
It's nice out. . But after I almost put a bag of chips in the microwave to make nachos. ..I figured it best to not venture too far from the couch
i mostly like you because you have a nice nose and that's an important trait to pass on to my future children
Im going to seductively wisper "that butters my biscuit" in your ear
Look get the dick out ur mouth and answer the phone
all i remember is walking home without my pants on... when i woke up i was sleeping in between my parents in their bed, no more whiskey wednesdays
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