I've done 29 out of the 30 things to do to a naked man according to Cosmo. I don't know if that makes me innovative or slutty.
Genius.
it was a sick party until you insisted on putting on "that's how I beat shaq"
my roomates packed me a lunch. it had bread, cheesewiz, a can of refried beans and a condom with a note that said "good luck on your first day". im not even gonna pretend to be mad.
i drank out of a bidet.
Watching the gap toothed girl get more ass than me is almost devastating.
What is the protocol for an "i'm sorry I had my ex retrieve me from the bar so I didn't drive drunk" blow job
I will come to your office dressed as a bloody mary, hug you then leave is that a good plan?
yes. bring a barf bucket too. just. in. case.
As hard as i've been partying lately their gonna have to revoke my organ donor status
Is a wave an appropriate goodbye when your one night stand wakes up and walks out towards the door while you are looking through the garbage for the evidence of a condom?
I also have to vacuum the broken noodles out of my suitcase...
I also point out to everyone that she looks like DJ's gf on Roseanne.
Its like I've been given a sexual blank check.
So vagazzling was a success
But if you do poop yourself let me know. I want that as a tagline. "So funny she'll make you shit yourself."
I just revenge puked in his shoes. This is gonna be a fun night :)
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