Pants 0. Shit 1.
Yeah, but I'm out of licorice and there's no way anywhere near here will rent us all mopeds on a Tuesday night.
you cant keep talent like that locked up in a relationship
Sudue. BIG CUP LOTS OF NOMNOMD TUOSPY
ya she's here .. it looks like she just gave up and passed out on the floor
I got stoned in my snow covered car and pretended I was burried alive
Umm... How do I tell my roommate someone shot a speargun through the wall? On a side note, cliff shot a speargun for the first time.
My pubes were yanked out by the root when they got caught in the condom. I think it's time for a bikini wax.
we were at work and Infront of the whole bar you yelled. "JAKE I WANNA GET FUCKED TONIGHT!" Us day drinking > everyone else
I yelled out look at all those hickeys. And then gave her boyfriend a high five
The only difference is Iv never super glued straws to your nipples.
Alls I wanted was a fun New Years but I end up fingering a geico sales representative on a futon and giving her a ride to work the next morning
Yes. Life would be much easier if we had penises & could do whatever the fuck we want.
I mostly blame me being such a miserable fuck on the fact that I was born on a Monday.
how the FUCK did i spend 25 dollars at 50 cent beer night?
Randomize
