I just remember taking her cat for a walk around 3 am then falling asleep in a slide at the park
Thank you for the breast cancer awareness themed circle of death. Had it been any other time I would not have played topless.
So getting a bj to I believe I can fly is one of the greatest things ever
He showed up drunk to my cousions HS grad party, we stayed at the bars till 2, then he got up at 5 to run a half marathon and by the time I woke up wlhe was already back and drinking.
Going to.goingto.gtoing to DIE DIE DIEEEE......i feel like everyeone impotrant in my life like MLK is judging me.... saddd day
It wasn't really sex. It was just rolling around, trying to make sure his dick didn't end up in my ass.
Jameson and I invented street rugby last night. Yeah
Found your counterpart from cali. Walked into the bar we were in with milk and a donut, ordered a beer and said anything his group wanted was on his tab....dangerous
How did work go after you told them you were in jail?
Great they tried to bail me out.
How do you say "thats kinda illegal" in thai?
My morning started with my mom giving me the number for a substance abuse councellor. How's your day going?
"Nobody needs to know that I have a vibrating butt plug and nobody needs to know that I'm probably gonna start wearing it at work"
So you completely disappeared from my memory last night at about my 15th Jager bomb. But only you. No one else.
Why is there a mildly painful bruise on my back?
You slipped off the sink last night.
Why was I on the sink......?
;)
You know you're out of shape when you're sore after masturbating.
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