So I walked out of my room and there was my brother....standing naked
One of my students just wrote an essay on how ninjas, like drug addicts, must realize they need help before they can get better...I gave it an A+
you tried to scramble eggs in my dryer last night. i want you here in 15 minutes to clean this shit up
Clearly, I'm already going to hell, so there's no point in trying anymore.
just looked at his mug shot... not really my type
someone was throwing condoms at us.
no, they just magically show up around you.
Seriously man, I'm worried that my dick's going to fall off someday if I keep this up...
We decided I could make bicurious-jitos or ho-meh-jitos or heteroflexible-jitos. But not homojitos.
that beer fried lasagna last night was sooo good
that wasnt beer fried lasagna, you just poured beer on my lasagna
There's a very real possibility that I'll wake up in your uncle's driveway.
I don't think you seem to understand this concept. WHEN A GAY GUY HANDS YOU A DAIQUIRI, YOU DRINK IT.
I asked if he wants to help me spring forward at 2am on Sunday. He seems down.
I'm taking tokes in the bath tub, come if you want, I'm naked and you have to bring chicken nuggets or else you can't come in
ALMOST WRECKED MY SCOOTER. DAVE FRANCO HAS A TWIN AMD HE GOES HERE
She was so happy for me that she insisted I fuck her with my Bills jersey on. THAT ACCOMMODATING
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