Woke up this morning to a janitor hitting me in the head with his bucket in the hallway of my building. An alumni was next to me because we locked ourselves out of my room and couldn't figure out where my roommates were.
Please stop sending me picture messages of your shit. Seriously. I don't care if it looks like popcorn chicken.
I think its a sure sign I need to get laid when every cloud in the sky looks like a penis.
I realized that I earned the name Classy cassie as i was throwing up vodka slushie in my bed with a guy I know by the name extacy boy
after the cops left he pulled the weed out of his ass and we smoked it
hey did I tally my arm again of # of shots?
nope, you were tallying rejections at the party
thank you for tagging me in all my pictures as "skank" and yourself as "made by the hands of God"
thanks for carrying me to bed.. and sorry for trying to roll down the hallway to escape.
Fuck you. how could you leave me passed out hangin out my truck window when you knew it was starting to rain?
Did you leave a blizzard on my porch last night? Or was that someone else giving out a metaphorical threat to me?
I mean Grimace is basically just a big piece of purple shit and he is loved way more than the hamburglar just to put it into perspective
I got shot at today. If that doesn't get me at least a blow job I give up working on the south side
that man is just a bundle of powerful magic and poor judgment
My fridge is empty and all of my food is in the bathtub. Just.. Why?
Also this just in, I think you could see my sequins underwear that say unwrap me through my leggings all day while I hung out with his family
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