I'm pounding a vodka drink as we speak to make her interesting
im so hungover...we just watched The Perfect Storm and i got seasick
debating whether or not to save the package from my first plan b pill. it would be a nice addition to any baby book.
All I know is I woke up next to her beside the toilet
I need to make a 'no kissing' rule for my casual hookups during cold season...this cold is so not worth it.
This taco party has no tacos, just a hot asian guy in booty shorts. We were lied to.
Walk of shaming dressed as a zombie hunter. This hangover feels like the actual apocalypse.
If there is a ladylike way to throw up in your favorite toilet, I just did it.
You passed out and I didn't draw a penis on your face. Sister of the year.
OH MY GOD REMEMBER ALL THAT I LOVE NEW YORK I DVRED BECAUSE I JUST DID
One singular head for man, one giant climax for mankind
the bouncer just handed me a Starbucks bag of pound cake
Nothing like walk of shaming to the bus stop in your bar clothes at noon and seeing the fire truck you work on drive past with the other shift giving you thumbs up.. Brotherhood at its finest
And by "I love him" I mean "I want his tongue down my throat.
you had her IN YOUR BED NO PANTS AND YOU GAVE HER THW BOOT?!?!?!
Stage five clinger bro. had to go.
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