3:26am: come over
you purposely dodge me and you could have stopped me from leaving, you know how far i live. YOU come over
4:11am: mnlodp
dude I don't understand hebrew and I'm not coming over
So I just passed a billboard for "Risque Cafe: Good food and topless women". Fuck. I love SC.
that girl looks like she smells like hot dog water...
i just woke up to 15 people singing a whole new world
if you lined all their dicks up next to eachother, it would be like at&t bars
A guy with no shirt on and a eyepatch just got out of the car beside me. After he slammed his door into mine. This is our hometown.
If he really loved his girlfriend then he'd wear a condom when he fucks me.
Yeah I fingered her in the crowd and the dj saw it and gave me props over the speakers. I got so many high fives.
She pulled vodka outta the dryer and told me to drink it
I'll be in SoCal at my bachelorette party, aka embracing a fireman covered in KY and chocolate shavings.
Sobered up midsex and just went with it. After he tried cuddling and I awkwardly rolled out of the bed to find someone on the floor, apparently it was his room so he got to listen.
You get 5 min
Your time limits don't scare me, I'll include foreplay and redressing in that 5 min. If you wanted to challenge me you should say you got an hour, id be scared then and more creative.
I'd climb him like a horny MILF spider monkey.
You cannot steal the fun of my nakedness. You do not own my nakedness. My nakedness is my sole property and I share that fun with whom I choose.
Just sold my panties for 40 bucks to some rando dude at the gay bar. I think I found a way to fund next years spring break trip. Hello cancun!
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