We played Rock, Paper, Scissors last night to see who was the least drunk to drive.
The Rock won.
Just tried calling my phone on my phone because i thought i lost my phone.
I really want to fuck my wifes sister.
I wish orgasms lasted as long as the pain from rug burn
not to mention it took an hour of antique roadshow to calm my dick down
i miss our vodka / percocet laundry days.
I just wanted to share with you that my life has come to naked arts and crafts, to fix my flask, with a rum and coke in my hand... Good luck on your exam
Not going to lie- I'm a little freaked out camping right now. This is one of those high activities you don't do by yourselves...or close to bears
Eh maybe I should give her a chance. Let's see where making a porno takes the friendship
Do to my newly discovered condition I'm having to resort to emergency beat sessions to avoid the temptation to text girls I know are easy slams.
You're just gonna have to make the sacrifice man.
I'm trying to hide in the table.
I sliced my fucking arm open last night after margarita madness and had to drive myself to the ER. Got six stitches and a social worker came in and asked if I was abused due to my sex bruises. I literally had to tell her "don't worry, I like it rough"
Six words: 3rd Degree Burn On My Dick
I mayyyyy have moaned a name that wasn't his
So what happened at girls night? My roomate found me passed out locked out on the front steps of the house and it was raining. Yes low moment
Randomize