when you find your car can you pick me up? his mom is here and im hungover
At first I felt shameful, waking up naked next to a box of oreos and half a can of cake frosting...then I realized, this could be a bigger discovery than Atlantis.
we'll hang out once this whole, "your friends are robbers and drug addicts" thing blows over with my parents.
not my fault. i got her to believe he wrote an oasis song. he still managed to find a way to make sure no girl ever gets near his penis.
This is much more drunk than i was intending for a wednesday
we went to the store to buy cookie dough and conditionally went straight towards the booze
I HOPE YOURE READY TO KICK SOME SERIOUS ASS AT TRIVIA NIGHT TOMORROW NIGHT. also, i hope the birth of your niece goes well. BUT MOSTLY TRIVIA NIGHT.
I was a battlefield of empty bottles and bodies. We though we won, but the booze had the last laugh.
Ok here's the state of the situation: We're alone in a strange city with strange people with nothing but alcohol and sprite, I think we're gonna make it.
That's not as bad as watching a dumb ass drunk peeing into your window fan -
I was less embarrassed asking him to torrent the teen mom's porn. I'm not gonna ask him to about season 4 of PLL.
well some coke just fell out of my nose in my partners meeting so i'd say my day's off to a fantastic start
I have no clue how you survived last night but I applaud you. 21 body shots off 9 bodies in under four hours has to be a record.
My New Years resolution is actually to be MORE petty
Because of you I'm damaged goods. I'm a fucking soup can and you dropped me.
Randomize
