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ok, stay where you are, be there soon
You can't motorboat a personality
Mental picture: Us at a bar keeping it classy shot gunning PBR's in the corner.
That was a good example of when keeping it real goes right
I have a deodorant stick dedicated to my balls.
I'm a lady, I can't pee on the ceiling. Even I don't have that power.
I will not fill you in on the details until we get back, so do not ask. I got peed on by the girl I was hooking up with last night.
i got her number while she was sitting next to her boyfriend. her actual number. i might be a superhero
You don't want any of I have. Seriously. Its 80 proof rum that was 8 bucks for a liter. I'm afraid
I'm sure your liver is writing out a will as we speak
Tommarow we shall sacrifice the freshmen to the sun god
YOU DON'T JUST GET TO CALL AND SAY YOU MIGHT BE DEAD, THEN NOT ANSWER!
you made cordon bleu at 4am and declared you were Marshall Stewart
Checking my Tinder matches as I sit here in the waiting room at Planned Parenthood. I can't be stopped.
I'm at 45 minutes post orgasm, and I still feel my insides spasming. Pretty sure I just fucked Superman.
I can't. I'm going camping this weekend. I do have a life outside of your dick.
There's a point in life when you've got to take dick like a big girl.
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