the pizza man had no reaction when jackie and me opened the door naked, i guess he's used to that shit
my coke dealer is running a Black Friday special
all ten of us were sitting in his room with the lights off and staring at his colorful moving screensaver for two hours. That high.
I popped a zit on your vagina. Don't say I never loved you.
My neighbor just watched me eat a granola bar without pants, this is a whole new level of unemployed
Just tell your wife to stay in the car because you are self conscious about drinking infront of her. Now you have a DD AND we can still have a good time.
He bought me dinner. He gave me his jacket when I was cold. And then ate me out in the passenger sear of the car.
Hospital. He tried giving some kid a stone cold stunner during a real fight.
Sooo the theme of my 21st is rapidly becoming Gay Mexico
This isn't fair. Why can't sober me be good at bejeweled?
Lets play hurricane shelter. And the shelter is my bed, and we forgot our clothes.
So because I'm off tomorrow that means your dick could be in my mouth majority of that time
I found my spirit animal in the shower. It's a sloth/bear that lives in my chest.
Nothing says "class act" like eating acid in the middle of a Buffalo Wild Wings
We are the rockettes of vaginal bleeding
Randomize
