i'm forgoing the post-coitus cuddling sesh to ask u this :when he says he loves me and all i can think to say is either "cool" or "i love boning you," what do i do?
he wants to bone in the snuggie
i cant even explain all the reasons why i dont want to fuck you right now.
yo everyone went to the hospital last night
just a question.. totally understand if you dont know what im talking about.. but.. do you have my funnel? i think i tucked it in to your bed last night.
Shit, I may have left some acid in your bathroom last night. Has he been in there lately.
Drinking, I should not. Got here I don't know. Still drunk, I am. At courtneys.
We all just did coke and we're coloring so if you're sober its pointless for you to come over here
I just want to like fall into a pit of hot wings beside a keg of yingling and eat my way to freedom
I think I have to break up with him. I just cried, not moaned, screamed, etc, cried, with tears of sadness and disappointment when I came.
You don't understand. On her lunch break she sits on the roof, stares into the sky, and chain smokes. I can't get on her level. She is made up of java monsters with whiskey and a voice that sounds like sex.
You need to stop crushing on your boss or fuck her.
Ugh a 13 year old just asked me why people drink, I had to explain it without making it sound good. I need a drink.
I broke my foot jumping out of YOUR window under YOUR watch. You failed me drunk guardian. You failed.
Also, I just opened Google to find the lyrics to California Gurls. Karaoke night did us dirty.
Well, she yelled at the stripper that she couldn't lick whipped cream off his nipples because she is lactose intolerant.
Randomize
