Hey I don't know if you will get this but all I know is you are so beautiful to .ee and? I dare anyone to stop me me from caring for you ante so beautiful so I kid you not gorgeous iyoiu are so beautiful to me i dare som.eone too stioo you
I drank it, and now my boss keeps hitting me in the face with beams of light.
Tripping at your desk probably isn't the best plan you've had.
i wish that high-me and normal-me were two different ppl so that high-me could thank normal-me for setting out a feast before smoking
I wish that high-you wouldn't text me stupid shit at 3:30 in the morning
He's trying to row the canoe up my front yard like he is Lewis and Clark.
Just realized the fur coat I am wearing to the wedding is the one I had sex with the groom in
No. No, there is no forgiveness for this. The only way I'm forgiving you for this is if you somehow convince your sister to have sex with me. In her car.
We're like Siamese twins, but joined at the genitals.
Nothing like the It's a Small World ride at Disneyland to remind you to take your birth control. I took it on the boat yesterday
I'd rather take 10 virginities than catch something. Right now I should be good, I mean the sex with Jake was so bad he can't possibly have an std
I'm with some lesbians. Somehow I offended them and the Justin Beiber one told me I was fat.
i'll llet you know if at any point this night starts to make any sense
Not only does DQ have s'mores shakes, sonic has a hot dog in a pretzel bun, and Wendy's has a burger in a pretzel bun. Important things are happening.
I tried getting kicked out of my favorite bar. No matter what I did, I could do no wrong
His whole street is under construction. Third walk of shame this week & I'm getting a lot of sympathetic nods from the workers.
I just bought six bottles of the 2 dollar vodka. oh yes there will be blood
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