The two bassists just totally made out. I NEED MENNA'S RIGHT now.
he was so high, he talked to my goldfish for an hour telling him the dangers of overfeeding.
Srsly this has gone to far. Just broke my nose on the toilet. College bars.
All I wanted was a hug. You dirty, dirty whore.
i'm scootering my little heart out so i'm not late for a weed pickup. this is the meaning of adolescence
i meant to type that i went to that party for shits and giggles, but my phone corrected me and said for shots and goggles...either one works
They had to stop us from skinny dipping in the reflection pool of the Mormon temple.
When he wakes up tomorrow with half shaved legs smelling like a preteens bathroom, I'm sure he will think he has had a great evening
It is clearly not my fault that you decided studying was more important than trying to bang our hot teacher for an A, so I seized the opportunity.
Trust me, I'm a professional lesbian.
Turns out he's just a recently divorced IT guy. Not a wizard.
HOLY FUCK i just remembered we had bows and arrows and firecrackers last night
and flaming arrows and vodka
how did we not set your garage on fire
so we just got back from swapping peoples patio furniture around to different patios. some people might like unexpected change. others might regret living on the ground floor.
What made you think singing Silent Night while I was puking was a good idea?!?!
Well, I was arguably the most sober adult in the house by 1 in the afternoon, so I'd say Superbowl Shitshow was a success.
Randomize
