yo my bday is less then one week away. hope youve found another annoying candian i can lick dairy products off of. also sorry about your loss
Yes, it's true. 4 fingers.
I think I'd remember a dick in my mouth
I've slept with so many tools that you'd think my pussy was Home Depot.
No, you can still breathe under the balls.
He told me he breastfed 'til he was six. That explains the obsession with me getting fake tits. Is it a red flag?
I puked right in front of him after winning beer olympics and he still hooked up with me. My life is so easy.
I kept resisting the urge to yell "2 for 2!" so they could hear me on the other side of the wall.
and then I drunkenly screamed, "you can ride that Uber all the way to revenge city!"
which was funny until I realized I paid for my enemy's cab to go fuck my ex
He's going to find out eventually, but really what's he going to do? Cry about it and buy another fucking kitten??
Do I get bonus points if I get lockjaw after a cosmic blowjob?
So instead of going to meet her mom, I decided to jump out of her window which was about 1.5 stories off the ground. I'm alright, but I ended up meeting her mom anyway.
So the remote for the camera in the photo booth must have gotten dropped on the floor. while you were in there. having a threesome. on the floor of the room where my parents stay when they visit me. so thanks.
When i said you could use my car and have sex in the back....i wasn't being serious.
I'll be an awkward "I've had the grooms penis in my mouth" presence and we can party our nipples off.
Randomize
