dude do u know what u did last night?
do i wanna know???
you totally walked in on some couple fuckin in their unlocked dorm room asking for directions to ur room...
I was thinking about texting her and telling her I had syphilis when I was with her and that she should get tested. just for shits and giggles. skank dahaha
zippers are such a cool invention
i cant finish this easy-mac because i need it for a chaser.
my roommate left her license, credit card, and cellphone on her desk. I feel like this is a trap.
I'm tired of stuffing my fat into a slutty costume. Next year let's go as homeless girls. Cute ones. In leggings with camel toe.
Oh, and I'm only keeping her around till spring. Doing the hunt for cunt is too tough in 12" of snow.
The strip clubs here are like a safari of penis, and I'm gonna bag me a rhino.
At tuba camp, the pickings are slim. It's like being the tallest midget.
I was looking up travel destinations and somehow I ended up reading Paul's first letter to the Corinthians. I need to start going to church high...
"This must be what Jayden Smith feels like all the time"
Called Apple, my penis pics are safe.
Are we at that point yet where I can just say "I want you to sit on my face"? If not, want to go out for "drinks"?
Why do I always have at least 8 men with whom I am conducting some sort of poorly planned love experiment?
Apparently during my blackout I walked over to Troy, grabbed my crotch, and said “Eat Fresh” while his GF was with him. FML
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