omg. if hes just gonna get mad everytime i have sex with one of his "friends" then it was never gonna work out
I mean, I know they're ugly, but I cant turn down a birthday threesome.
there's a liquor store near my therapist
i might give it a shot.
Dude you were so high some kid was kicking the wall and you were convinced it was your heartbeat
No talking tonight. Just drinking and puking up memories
Boats looked like robot pelicans and time was slow and now im on wipe out
Can't a woman sleep on the floor in her own apartment in peace without being judged?
my last clear memory of the night was being offered a shot but having so much alcohol in my hands that someone literally had to pour it in my mouth for me. after that it pretty much skips to waking up face down and shirtless on my floor.
Just told my shrink " this was a year for whoring around"
Woke up this morning with a darth vader helmet and a bath robe on with my toenails shitly painted
Dude. He almost took three different girls home, all while dressed up as Amy Winehouse. If he goes as Kurt Cobain next weekend, we're screwed.
he made me cum so hard i had an asthma attack
He tried to grab your ass, but he grabbed my hand cause I grabbed your ass first. I saved your ass..literally. Your welcome.
My goal tonight is to be arrested by the Police Women of Cincinnati.
I was high as fuck laying down in the back seat while she gave him head. Most awkward chill moment of my life.
Randomize
