i think if you made a shrine it would be creepy
last week i woke up at this guys house...this week i woke up at his ex girlfriends
Just got walked in on during safety inspections
Think you passed?
I was more traumatized by the table collapsing while i was going down on you.
Also, I've sobered up around 5am, in Delaware. I remember making this decision, and highly regret it now.
In the future let's not drunk dive in the fountain in front of the hotel bar.
What color are my eyes?
Ummmm... 34 C?
Do you know of any good hiding spots in the Atlanta area?
i found out she really is a mensa member
so she was the smartest passed out on the floor hair encrusted in vomit girl at the party
some dude just accurately guessed my height and bra size.. that is cup AND inches around. creepy, yet impressive
I declared today 'Have a Bloody Mary Naked Day'. Why? Because I'm hungover, thirsty & don't want to bother putting on clothes.
omg so there's this guy on the roof and he just stripped for no reason and now i think he's making out on the rooftop with some other guy? who are these people
My boss asked me to pass over one of my business cards and instead I had condoms fall out of my wallet, how’s your day going??
it's like my eyeball is being humped by my eyelid
Can we just take a minute to acknowledge that you're drinking with your gay ex boyfriend's DAD who is a DEACON??
Randomize
