He saved me in his phone as Easy Jen. Should I be offended?
I wouldn't worry about it. He has me as "Sex Puppet."
the way i see it, im about one adderall binge away from graduating
hung over. covered in somebodies makeup. and ready to drink.
Am I really in your phone as Asshole Jesus??
Well it's official... The first guy I ever gave head to now holds 2 world records. Should I text him asking if I can try and break my record?
Think I just subconsciously wanted a cigarette and started sleep walking to Carl's.. Didn't realize what I was doing until I found myself in an elevator.
my roommates tied me up with rope and duct tape then left me outside the door to the hot girls' suite on my floor, knocked on the door and ran away leaving me there with a sign that says free
So I've discovered that being hungover at 25 feels the same as being hungover at 24. Happy Birthday to me.
Thank you for caring about my cervix.
We literally solved our fight using cat pictures on Instagram. True love.
the amount of 23-year-old guys who have seen me naked is starting to get a little worrying
Oh my god the guy at DQ just gave me the number 69 and winked at me
Adulthood is punching a guy in the face when you find out he's trying to fuck you and he's married instead of fucking him regardless and believing anything he says
HE’S PUKING UP BLOOD
okay all good I mistook strawberita for blood...
I CAN’T BELIEVE YOU STUCK YOUR DICK IN CRAZY!
Randomize
