You know you love balls. Don't act all "I-Don't-Love-Balls-ish"
mike has just informed me of all the things he would put in his pussy if he was a woman. this includes door stops, power drills & g.i. joes.
"and then my dad would be all like 'hey mike, where's the remote?'"
the choice between paying your electricity bill and getting herpes medicine is a tough one.
Ohmy god im about to fuxk my TA. i thyought this was a dream but i love you. <3
I'm watching i used to be fat. I've been doing crunches for the last half hour yelling at the slut on tv to stop crying and do crunches.
I'm not sure if you saw my recent facebook update, but I have already put the Radio Flyer wagon to good use. I had someone pull me to the nearest bar.
I just wanted to share with you that my life has come to naked arts and crafts, to fix my flask, with a rum and coke in my hand... Good luck on your exam
The only thing I regret was that he was wearing a scarf when we made out.
I accidentally walked in the wrong house but I somehow left with a chicken leg. Good fucking night.
I need to get a job that holds me accountable for something. Otherwise I wake upon Monday wondering when the booze store opens and if I still have a boyfriend.
I did not get laid last night bc my condoms were too small. I'm allowed to be dreary
So what's the moral standing on reading gay porn on your phone whilst sitting next to your 87 year old Grandma?
It started out as friends with benefits and now I'm picking up her kids from daycare...what has happened to me
Chicks before dicks must only mean American dicks
You fell while talking to a cop, then proceeded to acuse him of tripping you... he was arresting you for public intox.
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