I called the bartender Mr. Intoxication last night. He thought it was funny until i threw up and blamed it on him
tonights recap: old cokehead freind proposed in the middle of a country bar to his trash girlfriend, saw ex-fuck who now has star shaved into his head and another with his gf, and ex-bfs best friends crackin jokes about who would fuck me first. NEVER COMING HOME AGAIN
Wow my backseat really seemed a lot bigger when we were 16
I just saw a like a 30 person deep walk of shame... it was like the million man march but with dorm chicks
this is the 21st century. you drunk fuck him and then go on a date.
like the penis drawn on my face is so detailed and well done, i'm not even upset about it.
Does this sound normal?...She's ironing on pictures of her dead cat to all of her green clothes...
I got used. This is the happiest day of my life. I was just a huge cock and that is all she needed.
at least i was responsible enough to take off my shoe and throw up in it
We are winners. And by winners I mean home wrecking sluts
Isn't that what our 20s r for?? Testing the strength of other people's shitty relationships?
I'm allowing myself one mistake a year. He gets to be 2012.
I know he is still a student. I am not asking if his being an underwear model makes it more ethical, just less prosocutable.
I had an epiphany. If a dude dressed up as Batman to ask me out, I'd prolly marry him.
The difference between 22 and 28 is bigger than I realised. I had the urge to put on Spongebob and give him a cookie.
I love you too, but sadly you're not as good at getting me out of bed as cocaine.
Randomize
