No, I was feeling sad because all of the other girls were like model-skinny. But then I remembered that I had big boobs and went to hit on their boyfriends.
i'm too stoned to be pregnant. the kicking is morse code for wanting beef jerky.
I just sat through a State Farm mortgage Insurance commercial to watch a Trick Daddy video. Is this the target audience they are going for here?
Also, at 1:30 I emailed myself saying, "are you there Margaret? It's me, god"
sleazy september. first one with mono loses.
Also, I threw up on the playground again. I've honestly had more fun there this past summer than I did in my entire childhood.
bark. im thoroughly looking forward to kegs and eggs. next weekend should be pancakes and pinnical, then cereal and seagrams and then whiskey and waffles.
Turned on my GPS and all that it said in the search bar was "beer,"
once again, we need to groom him to be a better human being. using liquor and tits.
He has a shower chair now. So he sits and watches me shower. It's kind of creepy.
A black suburban rolled up and a scary suited guy got out the passenger side and opened the door for her as she got in. Then drive off. Who did I just fuck?
I think it's gonna be hard to find a guy that won't take my consistent drinking as alcoholism
I decided to start over my porn collection by deleting the old stuff. That was a sad piece of a pie chart...
Go have a frustration cry and get over it
We made out in front of everyone INCLUDING his girlfriend. And no one saw. THAT DRUNK!
Randomize
