Goal for tonight: Make one last drunken mistake for the semester.
new midget porn idea. Wizard of Jizz: Munchkins Revenge
So I'm banging this nun...
Isn't that how all good stories start? I like it already...
this dude just took some girl under your house for half an hour. you may have helped a 17 year old fuck on the beach for the first time. congrats.
I'm handcuffed to your bathroom sink. Save me.
I'd rather make snow angels in a pool of elephant shit.than sleep with him.
If I had a dollar for every time i woke up screaming for my pants i"d have enough money to buy all the beer I stole last night.
Yeah man i woke up and only had a Jimmy John's wrapper covering myself..
Two dicks, one me.
Yoga's definitely paying off.
I think we might have a drinking problem when the ASU kids called us crazy
No one made them take a shot with us at the 12 hour mark. That's their bad
Don't make me do math I'm drunk and full of chicken
We're friends with benifits... The benifits being I'm fucking her boyfriend
I DIDN'T WATCH THE PILLSBURY DOUGH BOY PORN!!!!
You like that 95% of the time I masterbate I think bout you?
Just wanna know what I can I do to earn the other 5%
Is it too early to start looking for freshmen penises to corrupt with our liquor and yoga pants?
I was just wondering the same thing! Gotta be any day now
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