I sware she could use her own nose as a dildo.
I don't remember her name, but I do remember yelling at her from the balcony of the hotel room during her walk of shame.
I just saw a Puerto Rican child between the ages of 8 and 11 with a faint mustache talking very loudly on the bluetooth in his ear about how "Skittles are played the fuck out"
...She then said get into the spirit and started making firecracker noises while having sex
This kid is too lonely to be my drug dealer.
There was a guy running for some position in our government named "young boozer" hell yes I voted for him
is it too much to get a jumbo margarita in a sippy cup right now?
We were dancing and she was clawing my stomach like a fat kid getting to a half broken pinata.
These are your "grown up" slampiece's new hours of operation; please plan accordingly
Hey! Welcome back! How was the bachelorette in Vegas?
A safari of penis I hurt to the core
did you know gatorade and rum go really good together
Are you doing depressed science again
maybe
He wanted me to choke him with my feet. So now I feel obligated to start writing my memoir
That portion can talk about stepping out of your comfort zone and how it can potentially kill people
WHY ARE THERE SO MANY BURPS IN MY SMALL, INCREDIBLY ATTRACTIVE BODY
Some guy named spider just bought me 5 shots
Ur betting me $100 that I can't do ur sister?
Randomize
