just fucked my old babysitter, gotta love block parties
I really wish you were half the slut you're sister was in college
1 I really miss college walks of shame 2 I think I may have killed this girls cat
I went to grab his drink and my hand grazed his dick. It was magical.
Yessssss I diiiiid! I enjoyed 38% of it. There are 4 qualifications and 2 were good. 1. There is a penis in my vagina (Pass) 2. It's a big penis (Fail) 3. The sex is long and exciting and makes me sweat and have 6 pack abs (fail) 4. I got off (uhhh potential to pass...)
Softest bathroom rug I've slept on in my life, there have been many
Accidently said "your going to hurt the baby" when he got forceful with his thrusts. I guess I forgot to mention to him that we are pregnant.
wine lets you be on time to class apparently
This is a dangerous realization
I literally put my pussy on his sideburns, it was awkward
There's a lil minaj in everyone
Just saw a guy I fucked in a clown suit in the bar. It's not Halloween. I have got to start making better life decisions.
Also, yes, I look pretty rough. But my ovaries fought back this morning so getting dressed decently was not a priority.
Check the mailbox while you're out!
I already looked this morning. You go check and see what you won on Ebay after your day drinking spree.
Would it be playing god to put spaghetti on my pizza?
It was after I slept with him he tells me he's a juggalo
Well it was nice knowing him
While he was fucking me, he just stopped and said, "Mike says Hi." Then proceeded to fuck me.
What did you do?
What do you say to that!? But, when I came, I screamed out my full name.
Randomize
