I had to remind him that there is no "age exchange rate" between the u.s. and spain, and that 16 will always equal 16
I'm so hungover, I actually considered rolling down the stairs to avoid walking.
He made a note in his iPhone tonight so that he would remember that I rejected him.
Just when you think you're never going to have sex again, BOOM you're naked in bed with a guatemalan
i'm getting the "you hooked up with my friends" speech from him. i'm returning with the "gotta keep my quota up" speech
he confused my yawn for an orgasm
Can you explain to me why I woke up with my hands tied to the hotel bed with the phone cord???
honestly, i just want you to have sex with him too so that you can fully understand my appreciation of his dick as well.
She just licked her nipple in public to get a free bar tab.
She literally pulled the door off the hinges and "dropped" it down the stairs... Do I just say 'good job' and put her to sleep?
people in the room actually applauded when we discovered you had the ability to somehow throw up on your own back
Cops on bikes. I think I can outrun them.
IM FEEDING MY CAT ALL THE HAM
I think I just shit out all my problems.
I'm not just straddling the line between love and hate, I'm dry humping the shit out of it
Randomize
