I'm jammin out to some Brit Birt, she's still my bitch, I love her crazy ass
If it makes you feel better he went down on me when i had a yeast infection.
Coming down off exstacy at a church event. Resisting the urge to dance to the church hymns.
I just almost got out my car and drop kicked this one chick over parking. Welcome to the first day of spring semester.
Had sex to a Lionel Richie song. I have a feeling I was conceived to it. Finally reached full circle.
I had a dream last night that you and me were eating cheesecake and according to my FATHER I was moaning really loud in my sleep. I seriously have issues.
Taped crackers to the wall. Sat I'n the dryer. Bobby had to pull me out by my hair. No more.
you came here, splled a bunch of margaritas, hung up a picture of yourself and then left
Just invented taco cereal.
You went down on Rachel in front me last night. Worst. Brother. Ever.
Am I really in your phone as Asshole Jesus??
Im just confused who has their mom break up with someone
He showed up at 1:10AM covered in mud and vomit, wearing a headband that said victory in Japanese. I WANT PICS.
I got off F O U R times, just because he wanted to hear me moan. He is my hero.
I'm definitely drunk. At the gyno. On my birthday. Life is a joooooooke
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