You work out of a Hotel?
How the fuck did I get small bruises all over my body?
Well you were laying on the couch naked after the girls left, staring into space, and I went over to the pool table and threw every ball as hard as I could at you from point blank range . You didn't flinch, blink, or scream for any of them. next time maybe you won't fuck my girl while I'm taking a shit
they're both coked to the gills having a shouting match about the powers and abilities of godzilla. and using the wikipedia entry on the topic to support their respective arguments.
After you vomited on the patrol car, you thanked the officer for helping you up off the ground. I don't think you realized you were being arrested.
ugh he was not leaving in the morning so i tried to scare him by crying and saying i wasnt ready to lose my virginity.
Give us adventure or give us cock. Or cocktails.
Is this the girl that wrote "Poon Slayer" across my chest?!
She kept grabbing my head and told my faces to stop shaking.. Also, she kept whispering something about seeing flowers in my eyes.
I just figured out the time exactly by how many shots and beers that I've had since this morning. I either have a terrible problem, or a great solution.
So now I'm just going to brush my teeth, get high, and go to sleep. Like an adult
i literally have the attention span of a weasel on steroids, but yeah, i know who you’re talking about.
I bet you my entire life savings of $0 that there's a Doctor Who porn parody and that it features the sonic screwdriver being inserted into some cavities
His dick is social distance approved
Social distance approved?
big enough for me to fuck from six feet away
i can feel my liver failing just LOOKING at that thing
Sorry. I was preoccupied thinking about penises
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