so, just learned that EVERYONE heard pretty much everything last night. my roommates were surprised to learn you're a dirty talker.
so this was truly a case of the blacked out leading the blacked out.
I was the last girl at the bar last night. It was like a battle royale between 10 guys.
I have a way to get him back. you're going to have to take one for the team and make a visit to the health department. you in?
Like her Facebook page isn't even hers. It belongs to her tits. It's Titsbook
I am drunk please bring Taco Bell and sex
Never mind I found pizza just bring sex
The fact that I took a nap during my midterm shows exactly how I handle being an adult
Whats proper etiquette for apologizing to your wife for being so drunk you stood up and pissed on the bedroom floor next to the bed?
What happened to fro yo and sex?
I settled on "Merry Christmas! Btw you may have chlamydia". I thought a nice holiday greeting would soften the blow
Binging muscle relaxers because when ur 33 you can no longer SHAKE IT LIKE A POLAROID PICTURE for 2hrs w/o consequences. Fuck you, Age.
You can't honestly expect me to maintain an erection when you have the Glen Beck show on
She wanted me to stick my dick in the birthday cake she got me
I will never use my dick in anger. With great dick comes great responsibility
I just motorbotted some guy and my hair got stuck in his nipple ring...owww
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