I'm going to use my one free fuck up card tonight.
What'd you do?
Its more like what im about to do.
On my way home right now. I miss you. let's cuddle. whiskey.
apparently it was the return of drunk burrito sex.
i just saw the eighteen different ways i could die and only after that did i realize i'd made a poor decision
on the way to the hospital you kept asking if we could stop at the bar first. then you proceeded to puke out the window
Woke up naked wearing mismatched earrings. Didn't even make it to the bar.
She must've been waiting down the street cause after I said I specialized in inner-thigh-face-massage it couldn't have been 2 minutes until she was on my couch.
They gave me patron and potatoes I couldn't say no
Not only does DQ have s'mores shakes, sonic has a hot dog in a pretzel bun, and Wendy's has a burger in a pretzel bun. Important things are happening.
So I'm texting her. How do I steer the conversation toward "I honestly would be fine never seeing you again"?
I am actually offended he hasn't asked me to sleep with him yet to get better grades...I wanted the whole college experience.
well i maturbated this morning, which means the best part of my day has already happened.
Stop it. You know what r&b does to my body
We power houred with shots of red wine. Somehow we ended up with 7 bottles and lost Chris. Trying to find him this hungover is proving very unsuccessful.
The hump and dump is a beautiful thing
Randomize
