put your party hat on. and by party hat I mean no panties
after the cops left he pulled the weed out of his ass and we smoked it
I just watched Jersey Shore so I would know what rock bottom was when I reach it.
That fucking fat Asian kid that NOBODY invited is stuck in the dryer again
i knew you were okay when you wanted to eat in the ambulance
Until you wake up with a Hustler club stripper in the next room whose nipple you were coerced to lick at Snake & Jake's after breaking up a fight between an Indian and a Filipino, I don't wanna hear about your weird.
It's like being the highest you've ever been, then doing about 20 shots, and chasing them with lines of coke. All while laying on the surface of the sun.
I think it's starting to become crucial that I find a companion for my vagina.
That BJ in the bathroom was definitely worth the $20 cover.
If I show up to the mall alone looking like I do to purchase a vibrator and some Japanese food, I would judge me too.
Bro i pulled the fucking willy wonkas gold ticket of ratchets the other night this chick was a real treat god bless her
Is a swingers hotel appropriate for an anniversary?
It's okay, big boobs are better than running.
Side Note: Everyone in my office is getting engaged and having baby showers. And I'm all like, fuck your joy, I just want more string cheese in my life.
Casually blacked out last night and apparently told him he couldn't come back to bed until he got me Taco Bell.
Randomize
