I will be home in 10 min. Dont be beating off on the couch
enter at your own risk
why didn't you say something constructive like "stop chugging that vodka"?
I kinda wish he had even a slight idea of the sex I'm planning for his departure. I'm literally studying for it.
Second night back. Go to house party and played ring of fire. Me plus five other people completely naked. College wins.. It's going to be a long semester
If she makes a move, pretend to have a seizure.
Things I just found under my covers: protein bar, string cheese, vibrator.
Some guy wearing a horse mask just knocked on my door and started whinnying. I opened the door and he was like, "...oh sorry, wrong room..." so awk.
I think I'm just going to up-end a bottle of wine and look through pictures of what my life used to be.
he fell asleep like an hour after we got to the beach, he deserved that penis shaped sunburn.
Got head last night. Had the 3D glasses on the whole time.
It was right before we played jenga with champagne glasses for a good half hour
I like to play this game where I try to reach orgasm before my bathtub overflows....lost tonight.
I woke up on some strangers couch covered in salad mix and oatmeal cream pies. The struggle is absolutely real.
its like my accent is a device for a 100% chance of sex every time i leave the apartment. i love being english in this country.
I was simply suggesting that you really should try coke bondage sex.
Randomize