She just asked to stimulate my prostate, man law requires you come pick me up
she looked like the bat from fern gully.
How was dinner with ur grandparents?
I was really blazed and scared they'd catch me, so when they asked about my day I was concentrating really hard on not saying smoking that instead I honestly said "Well, I had sex on your pool table, Nana."
We left the bar, went to a sex shop, bought penis shotglasses, went back to the bar and insisted that the bartender used them.
You were walking around with a baby carrier pretending your vodka was a baby. You tried to get pictures on santas lap
In the memo line of the check she wrote sexual healing.
After he finished he proceeded to check my boobs for breast cancer.
I can only use one eye at a time. And if I want to listen, I have to close both of them.
look in the field by the highway and see if there is a high heel there. Or some Taco Bell bags.
eating on the run again ?
I had sex on the roof of the dorm last night ... I feel like a combination of spiderman and van wilder
You can't die you're my only democrat family member
We ate sushi in a hospital bed, then fucked in a bathroom while I wore a gown. Pretty sure she's the one
After we had sex he went to the kitchen, came back with a bag of funyuns and ate them buck ass naked in his bedroom doorway. Had no idea how to react to that one.
dad says come back and get the lawn mower out of the pool before mom gets home
Yes, the maid of honor did just deep throat the mic during the toast. How do I follow that?
Randomize
