And, I saw Emily's panties. How? She doesn't sit like a lady.
He wouldn't know what to do with his penis even if they made a "how to get a blowjob for dummies" guide
You are the worst kind of disappointment. The responsible kind.
just fucked two guys in less than 12 hours. i miss this part of being single.
and by single i mean slutty
You kept making that girl eat peanuts, saying they were good for her baby..... I don't think she pregnant
At some point I'd like to figure out how the weird kid from sociology ended up on my couch naked hugging what appears to be some sort of clothing....seriously it's creeping me out
she is legit wearing a plastic bag around her neck as a necklace. she says it serves two purposes.
It might have taken me 30 minutes but I finally finished the toast I made. That hungover.
well after pounding on the ceiling for 5 mins i just went up there to tell them to shut up.. 2 hours later i'm naked, high, lying on their kitchen floor. it escalated so quickly
They sleep with other people as long as there is no oral. Logic and reason were thrown out the window a long time ago with them.
I need to keep a secret stash of instant alcoholic margaritas for when i deal with people. For example, right now, im grading, and I just don't fucking care any more. My students should make a thank you card for Jose Cuervo.
So....I just took a paddle fan on high speed to the side of the head while getting head...still finished the job, good thing I'm drunk and couldn't feel it.
He passed out with his shoes on 20 minutes till midnight, and I didn't have a sharpie so I took the cheese whiz and filled his exposed ass crack.
I'm sorry, but if I hear stories of you getting fingered in the ass, and selling weed, you are not coming to my party.
I don’t care if there’s a pandemic. My husband gave me a hall pass for my 40th birthday and I’m going to use it!
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